I called my doctor's office to see if I could come in to verify that things were on track with the pregnancy. Initially, I got the standard "We do these appointments at X weeks" answer, which was still several weeks away. When I asked the lady "Does it make any difference if I have had a previous miscarriage?" Thankfully, it did, and they agreed to have me come in for a "viability scan" just to make sure things were ok.
The morning of the appointment, I must have woken up at 4:00 a.m. - so nervous and hopeful that I couldn't sleep any longer. We hadn't told our parents and that little girl in me just wanted my mommy to know. But somehow telling mom to me meant - I believe it - a little more investment and a little more disappointment if things didn't go right. So I headed to the local coffee shop to get a drink and a muffin before work. As I was waiting for my drink, a voice in the corner says "thats a nice purse!" I turned around to see a sassy short haired lady and said "oh, thank you". She said "I just love it, but I usually get most of my stuff at the thrift stores". I just said "You would love my mom, another thrift store fashionista". A few moments went by and she looked at me and said "Today is going to be a good day, I just feel it". "I'm going to get a job today". I sat down for a moment and said "Its good to hear you say that, because I really hope today is going to be a good day as well". I explained that we were pregnant, that I had lost the last one, and that I had an appointment later in the day to confirm if things were ok. She immediately said "Here - give me your hands - close your eyes." The irony is that my mother frequently asks to hold hands and is also a hippy free spirit. The lady started to pray for me and told me that she knew everything would be ok. She started to talk about her church, about how the congregation was cool and how they all rode bikes and loved rock and roll. It turns out that this lady's name was Teri, the same as one of my best friends, and her and my dad had the same birthday. Although it was a chance encounter, it seemed like a sign to me that in some way - the love of my family and friends was present through her that day even though not many of them even knew.
Speaking of signs, on the way to the apppointment, I started to think about what we would find out and I questioned whether my heart could take another let down. The masochist in me started envisioning the black and white screen, a doctor with no expression on her face, lots of silence, and I wondered how crushed I would be in that moment. Quickly trying to change my attitude, I shook my head, and hit shuffle on my ipod playlist. Guess what song comes through the radio in that moment - 1 in 660 chance on shuffle -
The morning of the appointment, I must have woken up at 4:00 a.m. - so nervous and hopeful that I couldn't sleep any longer. We hadn't told our parents and that little girl in me just wanted my mommy to know. But somehow telling mom to me meant - I believe it - a little more investment and a little more disappointment if things didn't go right. So I headed to the local coffee shop to get a drink and a muffin before work. As I was waiting for my drink, a voice in the corner says "thats a nice purse!" I turned around to see a sassy short haired lady and said "oh, thank you". She said "I just love it, but I usually get most of my stuff at the thrift stores". I just said "You would love my mom, another thrift store fashionista". A few moments went by and she looked at me and said "Today is going to be a good day, I just feel it". "I'm going to get a job today". I sat down for a moment and said "Its good to hear you say that, because I really hope today is going to be a good day as well". I explained that we were pregnant, that I had lost the last one, and that I had an appointment later in the day to confirm if things were ok. She immediately said "Here - give me your hands - close your eyes." The irony is that my mother frequently asks to hold hands and is also a hippy free spirit. The lady started to pray for me and told me that she knew everything would be ok. She started to talk about her church, about how the congregation was cool and how they all rode bikes and loved rock and roll. It turns out that this lady's name was Teri, the same as one of my best friends, and her and my dad had the same birthday. Although it was a chance encounter, it seemed like a sign to me that in some way - the love of my family and friends was present through her that day even though not many of them even knew.
Speaking of signs, on the way to the apppointment, I started to think about what we would find out and I questioned whether my heart could take another let down. The masochist in me started envisioning the black and white screen, a doctor with no expression on her face, lots of silence, and I wondered how crushed I would be in that moment. Quickly trying to change my attitude, I shook my head, and hit shuffle on my ipod playlist. Guess what song comes through the radio in that moment - 1 in 660 chance on shuffle -
It turns out that the viability scan did confirm a pregnancy, but it was too early to see anything re-assuring - just a black empty sack. It wasn't bad news, but it didn't exactly give you the warm fuzzies either. The next appointment was scheduled for two weeks later where we should definitely have something to see.
No comments:
Post a Comment